About gummibehrs : I dislike Nicolas Cage, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, George Lopez, Eddie Murphy, David Hasselhoff, David Caruso, and Jim Belushi.
I have heterochromia. I also have random episodes of cardiac arrhythmia.
I model at a small local agency for fun.
I love to read, write stories, and draw.
I volunteer for Greenpeace and local animal shelters.
I babysit full-time for two families.
Someday I'd like to work for the Red Cross.
I think greediness and selfishness are the worst human traits.
"It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow."
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible."
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46761) - you deserved it (12937)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17895) - you deserved it (41634)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39124) - you deserved it (20670)
On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)
Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52167) - you deserved it (3266)
On 07/25/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by fmlatmovies (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14045) - you deserved it (44190)
On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41310) - you deserved it (5255)
On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50626) - you deserved it (2417)
On 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm - kids - by GabsAlot829 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45106) - you deserved it (4523)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39051) - you deserved it (1918)
On 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by preggersss (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (5006)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm - kids - by Divorcemenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17691) - you deserved it (70581)
On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71623) - you deserved it (3336)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49340) - you deserved it (2515)
On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (75835) - you deserved it (11206)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42123) - you deserved it (9497)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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