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gummibehrs's FML badges
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gummibehrs's favorite FMLs
by Ballshurt / 09/07/2009 at 12:57am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML
by Whoops / 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML
by lifeguardfuckup / 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML
by littlemissignored / 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
by pussyOUT / 09/01/2009 at 2:30am / United States / Health
Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
by LGFLIPSTER / 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2009 at 2:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
by staringisrude / 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:42am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML
by Kelavmeister / 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by whoops / 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 1:07am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by lalanon / 04/03/2009 at 1:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…