About gummibehrs : I dislike Nicolas Cage, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, George Lopez, Eddie Murphy, David Hasselhoff, David Caruso, and Jim Belushi.
I have heterochromia. I also have random episodes of cardiac arrhythmia.
I model at a small local agency for fun.
I love to read, write stories, and draw.
I volunteer for Greenpeace and local animal shelters.
I babysit full-time for two families.
Someday I'd like to work for the Red Cross.
I think greediness and selfishness are the worst human traits.
"It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow."
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible."
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
I agree, your life sucks (16098) - you deserved it (98076)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (146574) - you deserved it (38935)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50132) - you deserved it (2714)
On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (170075) - you deserved it (6685)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44000) - you deserved it (2078)
On 04/24/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Lo_Bolian (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46434) - you deserved it (2385)
On 04/23/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47800) - you deserved it (9306)
On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (390689) - you deserved it (22114)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8903) - you deserved it (89362)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8903) - you deserved it (89362)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40496) - you deserved it (7122)
On 04/18/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (93414)
On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (130623) - you deserved it (6549)
On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)
Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8272) - you deserved it (78759)
On 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by .... (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67476) - you deserved it (4705)
On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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