About gummibehrs : I dislike Nicolas Cage, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, George Lopez, Eddie Murphy, David Hasselhoff, David Caruso, and Jim Belushi.
I have heterochromia. I also have random episodes of cardiac arrhythmia.
I model at a small local agency for fun.
I love to read, write stories, and draw.
I volunteer for Greenpeace and local animal shelters.
I babysit full-time for two families.
Someday I'd like to work for the Red Cross.
I think greediness and selfishness are the worst human traits.
"It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow."
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible."
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6703) - you deserved it (52722)
On 06/04/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by NoNaMe - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109142) - you deserved it (5095)
On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40892) - you deserved it (2924)
On 05/29/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Wade (man) - United States (California)
Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (42329) - you deserved it (1912)
On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10008) - you deserved it (79938)
On 05/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by Wick (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver decided to spit into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42973) - you deserved it (2769)
On 05/25/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by hahahah111 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44078) - you deserved it (3062)
On 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by beep_guacamole (woman) - United States (California)
Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36388) - you deserved it (10073)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27230) - you deserved it (1679)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by ballerphilip23 (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46038) - you deserved it (1206)
On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96858) - you deserved it (8076)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35542) - you deserved it (6080)
On 05/13/2009 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66412) - you deserved it (9465)
On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24377) - you deserved it (102959)
On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12556) - you deserved it (94837)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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