About gummibehrs : I dislike Nicolas Cage, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, George Lopez, Eddie Murphy, David Hasselhoff, David Caruso, and Jim Belushi.
I have heterochromia. I also have random episodes of cardiac arrhythmia.
I model at a small local agency for fun.
I love to read, write stories, and draw.
I volunteer for Greenpeace and local animal shelters.
I babysit full-time for two families.
Someday I'd like to work for the Red Cross.
I think greediness and selfishness are the worst human traits.
"It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow."
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible."
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42067) - you deserved it (9492)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61034) - you deserved it (9516)
On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45506) - you deserved it (20255)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38130) - you deserved it (1963)
On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38130) - you deserved it (1963)
On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51883) - you deserved it (2924)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8018) - you deserved it (27361)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:33am - work - by aireun (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36182) - you deserved it (7219)
On 07/08/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by feltuponthe69 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (17925)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58475) - you deserved it (3710)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8548) - you deserved it (34374)
On 07/03/2009 at 2:29am - love - by pinkrazrgirl247 - United States
Today, the cable repairman came to fix my cable which has never worked well. The entire time he was talking about how much extra money he got the "fat bitch who moved here 6 months ago" to pay for her cable. I moved in 6 months ago. I was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45866) - you deserved it (2570)
On 06/28/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by fmerunning (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48751) - you deserved it (5387)
On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42382) - you deserved it (3082)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Lee (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Friday 24 May 2013
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