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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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gummibehrs

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gummibehrs
  • Town/Country : Ireland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 October 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2721
  • Number of comments : 402
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About gummibehrs : I dislike Nicolas Cage, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, George Lopez, Eddie Murphy, David Hasselhoff, David Caruso, and Jim Belushi.
I have heterochromia. I also have random episodes of cardiac arrhythmia.
I model at a small local agency for fun.
I love to read, write stories, and draw.
I volunteer for Greenpeace and local animal shelters.
I babysit full-time for two families.
Someday I'd like to work for the Red Cross.
I think greediness and selfishness are the worst human traits.

"It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow."

"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible."

gummibehrs's last visitors

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gummibehrs's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of gummibehrs's badges

gummibehrs's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

#18097462 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (16574) - you deserved it (1645)

On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

#18060415 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (3301) - you deserved it (11066)

On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9457) - you deserved it (1956)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mom died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (12730) - you deserved it (31646) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (5122) - you deserved it (8243)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (3137)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

#18001464 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (4917) - you deserved it (33730)

On 10/16/2011 at 8:47pm - health - by kp - Australia

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (19171) - you deserved it (2053)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, after a root canal, I went to the pharmacy for some pain killers. The cute girl behind the counter asked what I needed. When I opened my mouth to tell her, a wave of drool hurtled out and splattered on the counter. FML

#17952669 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (21757) - you deserved it (2101)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:44pm - love - by maninpain - Kenya

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

#15788112 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (17726) - you deserved it (4041)

On 04/14/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by markyvilla - United States

Today, I gave myself a bloody nose while trying to show my brother how to use a yo-yo. FML

#15786077 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (9923) - you deserved it (14684)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:12pm - health - by Omegared - United States

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (26163) - you deserved it (3567)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094 (283)

I agree, your life sucks (10453) - you deserved it (50820)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710 (597)

I agree, your life sucks (44524) - you deserved it (19916)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML

#15451762 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (7453)

On 03/23/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by Cxisbest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)