About gummibehrs : I dislike Nicolas Cage, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, George Lopez, Eddie Murphy, David Hasselhoff, David Caruso, and Jim Belushi.
I have heterochromia. I also have random episodes of cardiac arrhythmia.
I model at a small local agency for fun.
I love to read, write stories, and draw.
I volunteer for Greenpeace and local animal shelters.
I babysit full-time for two families.
Someday I'd like to work for the Red Cross.
I think greediness and selfishness are the worst human traits.
"It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow."
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible."
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (1805)
On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (29014)
On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States
Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (5145)
On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14282) - you deserved it (40964) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (21491)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (3389)
On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5546) - you deserved it (37947)
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21281) - you deserved it (2299)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States
Today, after a root canal, I went to the pharmacy for some pain killers. The cute girl behind the counter asked what I needed. When I opened my mouth to tell her, a wave of drool hurtled out and splattered on the counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (2539)
Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (4242)
On 04/14/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by markyvilla - United States
Today, I gave myself a bloody nose while trying to show my brother how to use a yo-yo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10593) - you deserved it (15516)
On 04/14/2011 at 6:12pm - health - by Omegared - United States
Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29479) - you deserved it (4479)
On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (53545)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47512) - you deserved it (21373)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33811) - you deserved it (7757)
On 03/23/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by Cxisbest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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