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guitarguy42

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guitarguy42

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  • Number of visits : 58
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guitarguy42's favorite FMLs

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48356) - you deserved it (2465)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38417) - you deserved it (3261)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42944) - you deserved it (7327)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62759) - you deserved it (13775)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65054) - you deserved it (3123)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72343) - you deserved it (5873)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69563) - you deserved it (6556)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68420) - you deserved it (3647)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83452) - you deserved it (4744)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70034) - you deserved it (11904)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64319) - you deserved it (4710)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66626) - you deserved it (9004)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62978) - you deserved it (5101)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)



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