Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

guitarbeast

Search for a member

guitarbeast
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1821
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About guitarbeast : I love music, and I love guitar

guitarbeast's last visitors

mollyjynxjaxmissmandersxoxoRealZAalexmac222slappygecko

guitarbeast's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of guitarbeast's badges

guitarbeast's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (8187)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (44710)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (3764)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML

#16937158
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20225) - you deserved it (7629)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:22pm - animals - by anon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31305) - you deserved it (4493)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46381) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59484) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

#16877563
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43024) - you deserved it (3809)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by A girl - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

#16809591
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (5212)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by Username - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44044) - you deserved it (6900)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

#16725425
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34695) - you deserved it (3401)

On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33724) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10869) - you deserved it (51127)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

#16622108
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50629) - you deserved it (2770)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (6079)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: