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guitarbeast

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  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 2583
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About guitarbeast : I love music, and I love guitar

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guitarbeast's favorite FMLs

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29550) - you deserved it (8250)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

#17672828
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28764) - you deserved it (2670)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

#17666390
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (5413)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:04am - animals - by stinky skunk - Canada (Alberta)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24340) - you deserved it (2344)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

#17566686
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (5203)

On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (4651)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33322) - you deserved it (4476)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37802) - you deserved it (3008)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34808) - you deserved it (9638)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43329) - you deserved it (6403)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35084) - you deserved it (10008)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39233) - you deserved it (7281)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9773) - you deserved it (72321)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (6864)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10404) - you deserved it (94310)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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