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guitarbeast

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  • Number of visits : 2484
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About guitarbeast : I love music, and I love guitar

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guitarbeast's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (51197)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13233) - you deserved it (49228)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

#18756866
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24094) - you deserved it (3803)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by mortifiedgrandchild - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46741) - you deserved it (3237)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (2436)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11014) - you deserved it (87471)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34326) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (7950)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

#18127169
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32636) - you deserved it (6512)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

#18123413
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35985) - you deserved it (5018)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (4906)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (5183) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37755) - you deserved it (2348)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11935) - you deserved it (31070)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)



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