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I agree, your life sucks (13517) - you totally deserved it (2650)
On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14263) - you totally deserved it (2587)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16299) - you totally deserved it (1622)
On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, my fiancé told me he didn't have the money to make payments on my engagement ring and that I either have to return it, or make the payments myself. Now we aren't engaged any more, and are "dating." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15273) - you totally deserved it (2107)
On 01/28/2010 at 10:32pm - love - by oregongrl1991 - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7078) - you totally deserved it (1286)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19896) - you totally deserved it (1192)
On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20950) - you totally deserved it (4851)
On 01/21/2010 at 5:47am - love - by uuuuugh (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3707) - you totally deserved it (17406)
On 01/20/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by kerry (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom figured out how to use the poke application on Facebook. If I don't poke back, she calls to see why I haven't. I just recieved my 6th poke today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17100) - you totally deserved it (1560)
On 01/19/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by STOPIT (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7922) - you totally deserved it (1800)
On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6423) - you totally deserved it (2640)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4545) - you totally deserved it (681)
On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4865) - you totally deserved it (1545)
On 01/09/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by bjfail (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)
Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19705) - you totally deserved it (3686)
On 11/07/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by iheartvodka (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "its disturbing how good you are at that". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9601) - you totally deserved it (2156)
On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
