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Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53241) - you deserved it (5533)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (17007)
On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34366) - you deserved it (3687)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (2195)
On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32259) - you deserved it (14649)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39465) - you deserved it (4429)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (1610)
On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (7163)
On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)
Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing their toilets, and my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floors to the building, with twenty units on each. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (1428)
On 03/19/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by thirddegreeburned - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34633) - you deserved it (2576)
On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (3098)
On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)
Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29969) - you deserved it (3479)
On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43460) - you deserved it (9084)
On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33345) - you deserved it (4024)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)
Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (2088)
On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia
Friday 24 May 2013
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