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grunt03

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grunt03

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grunt03's favorite FMLs

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26953) - you deserved it (6962)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40898) - you deserved it (8445)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

#8938594
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28734) - you deserved it (2426)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by CreepedOut (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20165) - you deserved it (6098)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (3821)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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