About growingupnextmon : just go here if your really that interested. www.myspace.com/joshua6789 . I'm finding myself becoming rapidly addicted to this site. Troublesome. Or alternatively if a person is desperate to talk to me just add me on [email protected] and mention FML.
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growingupnextmon's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
by navyma / 09/17/2009 at 1:10am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Health
by misc / 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by blind_date / 09/13/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by badjob / 09/12/2009 at 2:32am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
by taman / 09/12/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a 12 hour trans-Atlantic flight overseas. I asked the flight attendant where this rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour 1 of the flight. FML
by whatsmccraken / 09/10/2009 at 8:37am / Taiwan (T'ai-wan) / Transportation
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
by drugged_on_arrival / 09/10/2009 at 6:55am / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
by awkwardbf / 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Waheyyy / 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML
by bubblezzz123 / 09/04/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
by keeperstride / 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm / United States (California) / Health
by Misterhippo / 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I told the guy I have been sort of dating that I want to connect emotionally before sleeping with him. He told me that he already had an emotional connection with his fiancée and was only interested in sleeping with me. FML
by MenSuck / 08/31/2009 at 11:56pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Timmah / 08/31/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work
- Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck… Today, I can't seem to get a job after going for more than 20 interviews over the last two months.…