About grghillis96 : Now Jonathan, hear me out...
grghillis96's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
grghillis96's favorite FMLs
by _kyleG_ / 06/16/2015 at 1:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML
by moreliketurdmart / 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML
by me / 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML
by NotJessePinkmanFFS / 09/10/2012 at 2:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
by scared to leave the house / 08/20/2012 at 5:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML
by Cottagecheeseha / 08/20/2012 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML
by Lauren / 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
by scammerssuck / 08/11/2012 at 5:13am / Ireland (Dublin) / Money
Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML
by hannaslifesucks / 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work
Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML
by mexicandelicacy / 03/03/2012 at 10:09pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML
by wait..what / 09/22/2009 at 1:15am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was… Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to…