About greyy_goooose : hellllerrrrrr_ im Maecyn. talk to me!? (:
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (49777)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (3472)
On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)
Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19376) - you deserved it (5695)
On 10/31/2010 at 12:25am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20318) - you deserved it (5042)
On 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm - misc - by MissTrix - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31448) - you deserved it (6360)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27275) - you deserved it (2820)
On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17445) - you deserved it (11034)
On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18302) - you deserved it (1823)
On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28669) - you deserved it (19842)
On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (11992)
On 07/07/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by BadLuckinLove (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8024) - you deserved it (25737)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17163) - you deserved it (40686)
On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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