greenwich1945

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greenwich1945

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1199
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About greenwich1945 : When I get older, losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?

greenwich1945's page activity

Visits<b>PyramidKingMC</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 3:01pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 3:15pm<b>mushie12</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:33am<b>najraa</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:27am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 2:43pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:27am<b>LolliDolly</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 6:04pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:05pm<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:07am<b>KevinFlynn</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 10:48am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 5:09am<b>ayleent122</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 10:45pm<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:25pm<b>chrstygrl06</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 4:39am<b>khibaet</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 1:17am<b>Hacked_Off</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 8:57am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 7:49am<b>siberianhamster</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 6:02am

greenwich1945's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of greenwich1945's badges

greenwich1945's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

by Mizzaroo / 01/17/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

by SF49 / 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm / United States / Health

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

by WTF / 01/16/2013 at 2:52am / Miscellaneous

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

by loveyouson / 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Kids

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Kids

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

by Les Miserables is so sad / 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

by hborkowski / 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

by LLCK / 12/10/2012 at 5:13am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

by anon / 12/08/2012 at 12:33am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

by shit.... / 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy