greenwich1945

Search for a member

greenwich1945

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1151
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About greenwich1945 : When I get older, losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?

greenwich1945's page activity

Visits<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 3:15pm<b>mushie12</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:33am<b>najraa</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:27am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 2:43pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:27am<b>LolliDolly</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 6:04pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:05pm<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:07am<b>KevinFlynn</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 10:48am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 5:09am<b>ayleent122</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 10:45pm<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:25pm<b>chrstygrl06</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 4:39am<b>khibaet</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 1:17am<b>Hacked_Off</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 8:57am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 7:49am<b>siberianhamster</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 6:02am<b>imessedwithtexas</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 6:02am

greenwich1945's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of greenwich1945's badges

greenwich1945's favorite FMLs

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

by me / 03/21/2013 at 6:25am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

by missedfistbump / 03/20/2013 at 10:31am / United States / Work

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

by stillfuckingcrying / 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm / Sweden (Kalmar Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation