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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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greeneye

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greeneye
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 September 1987 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 16239
  • Number of comments : 248
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About greeneye : Me in Halloween costume. Boo.

greeneye's last visitors

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greeneye's favorite FMLs

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next it. I flipped off the audience. FML

#14136007 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (7487) - you deserved it (12744)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a random guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

#14109722 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (19805) - you deserved it (6126)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (14848) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (14139) - you deserved it (1491)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (1564)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (38442) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (19684) - you deserved it (3455)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

#6632044 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (6423) - you deserved it (15130)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by Wrongdoor (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (12809) - you deserved it (21366)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

#5672838 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (6940)

On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

#5073384 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (7831) - you deserved it (22830)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by cachow (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (2053)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (10050) - you deserved it (29911)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML

#4764613 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (5393) - you deserved it (24040)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (67478) - you deserved it (5185)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)