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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18501
  • Number of comments : 488
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About greeneye : Me in Halloween costume. Boo.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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greeneye's favorite FMLs

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (2316)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28517) - you deserved it (9654)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36613) - you deserved it (2522)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7077) - you deserved it (39790)

On 07/28/2012 at 9:26am - misc - by anonymous - Lebanon

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30469) - you deserved it (2396)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14825) - you deserved it (27299)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30524) - you deserved it (2940)

On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (4180)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (5243) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML


I agree, your life sucks (16672) - you deserved it (37691)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (2115)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (3113)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (3815)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34788) - you deserved it (3382)

On 03/26/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by Sue (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (6626)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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