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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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green_shade

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green_shade
  • Town/Country : Pt. Edward, CA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 August 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 512
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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green_shade's favorite FMLs

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

#9184901 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (42942) - you deserved it (4389)

On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

#9155456 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (3957) - you deserved it (57623)

On 03/17/2010 at 7:51am - misc - by KobraKommander - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (24189) - you deserved it (3170)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

#9101035 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (2347)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:27am - love - by stunned (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML

#9037233 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (2895) - you deserved it (24121)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:16am - misc - by EwokLover17 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML

#8248390 (310)

I agree, your life sucks (5856) - you deserved it (27582)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (14008) - you deserved it (12325)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (17390) - you deserved it (9061)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I sent a christmas card to my husband's uncle and aunt. I'd forgotten that the uncle died last year. FML

#6843242 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (6840) - you deserved it (21301)

On 12/20/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I decided I need help, so I confessed to my mother that I'm bulimic. After she looked it up online she started screaming at me for "Wasting food that I'm not paying for." FML

#4663591 (377)

I agree, your life sucks (38914) - you deserved it (7291)

On 08/19/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Rainbow92 (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

#3806644 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50139) - you deserved it (1757)

On 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm - misc - by dork (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710 (1201)

I agree, your life sucks (55738) - you deserved it (136041)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120452) - you deserved it (28815)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower after a run. We were under a tornado watch, and I halfway through the lights dimmed and I heard the tell-tale "train" sound. Panicked, I bolted wet and naked for the basement, crashing into my mom as I flew out the door. The sound was just her new vacuuming. FML

#1194699 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (36180) - you deserved it (9517)

On 04/21/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40704) - you deserved it (114328)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)