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greasygoafer

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greasygoafer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 496
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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greasygoafer's page activity

Visits<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:49pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 8:54am<b>papaya_master</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:38pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 11:05pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 6:24pm

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greasygoafer's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13200) - you deserved it (65304)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
687 comments

I agree, your life sucks (702838) - you deserved it (55984)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38555) - you deserved it (129463)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML

#825703
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9562) - you deserved it (90064)

On 04/05/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by Triedtobecool (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (411813) - you deserved it (67070)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (199423) - you deserved it (31527)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241897) - you deserved it (32156)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (658488) - you deserved it (442519)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
957 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73255) - you deserved it (425091)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)



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