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greasygoafer

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greasygoafer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 457
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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greasygoafer's page activity

Visits<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:49pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 8:54am<b>papaya_master</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:38pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 11:05pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 6:24pm

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greasygoafer's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15147) - you deserved it (53284)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

#14717591
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18206) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by everfresh (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (3448)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

#13717829
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (7642)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55988) - you deserved it (12082)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

#13202314
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33033) - you deserved it (2494)

On 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

#13048948
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (7367)

On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29345) - you deserved it (3630)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15460) - you deserved it (21234)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8010) - you deserved it (31513)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML

#6007268
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (4745)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by ohhhgross (woman) - Singapore

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87523) - you deserved it (14630)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66729) - you deserved it (9019)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML

#5464721
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (7670)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:01am - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58461) - you deserved it (15078)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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