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greasygoafer

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greasygoafer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 401
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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greasygoafer's page activity

Visits<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:49pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 8:54am<b>papaya_master</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:38pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 11:05pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 6:24pm

greasygoafer's FML badges

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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greasygoafer's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11729) - you deserved it (48074)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

#17884041
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32565) - you deserved it (4479)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:05am - intimacy - by therevsev - United States

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27237) - you deserved it (2594)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31536) - you deserved it (5180)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85052) - you deserved it (13052)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (3693)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (3520)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (17252)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

#15844364
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8511) - you deserved it (74266)

On 04/19/2011 at 6:03am - animals - by sore (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29246) - you deserved it (8562)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22075) - you deserved it (11659)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (4297)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43948) - you deserved it (5954)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43948) - you deserved it (5954)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working on my art portfolio. I had drawn a self-portrait. When I was satisfied, I wanted to show my parents. They thought it was a drawing of a bear. FML

#14899477
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (4610)

On 02/08/2011 at 7:30pm - misc - by nomoreart (man) - United States (Virginia)



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