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greasygoafer

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greasygoafer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 488
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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greasygoafer's page activity

Visits<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:49pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 8:54am<b>papaya_master</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:38pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 11:05pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 6:24pm

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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greasygoafer's favorite FMLs

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (2086)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

#19744443
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9266) - you deserved it (20159)

On 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

#19488844
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (2372)

On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML

#19446242
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26058) - you deserved it (2090)

On 04/10/2012 at 10:19pm - health - by baugy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (9464)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (5864)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML

#18904758
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (5914)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:32am - health - by ???? - United States

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (4846)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (4846)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (10572)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML

#18416702
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30138) - you deserved it (2413)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML

#18374674
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9118) - you deserved it (32446)

On 11/28/2011 at 10:31am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

#18136317
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (9428)

On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

#18022998
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (3556)

On 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm - work - by ikickgingers - United States



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