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greasygoafer

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greasygoafer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 492
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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greasygoafer's page activity

Visits<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:49pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 8:54am<b>papaya_master</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:38pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 11:05pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 6:24pm

greasygoafer's FML badges

Consolation prize

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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greasygoafer's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24788) - you deserved it (1599)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (2602)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (4266)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17877) - you deserved it (1726)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

#20104660
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (1778)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33169) - you deserved it (2540)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33906) - you deserved it (2343)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (1754)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17839) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20886) - you deserved it (8826)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25150) - you deserved it (25507)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21932) - you deserved it (12249)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

#20029295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (5307)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (5925)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (5925)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom



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