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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48804) - you deserved it (9045)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101273) - you deserved it (4586)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52714) - you deserved it (6204)
On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52714) - you deserved it (6204)
On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15636) - you deserved it (36572)
On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57348) - you deserved it (21433)
On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59545) - you deserved it (10942)
On 03/29/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193848) - you deserved it (21259)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12696) - you deserved it (25227)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 17 June 2013
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