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grandmasattack

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grandmasattack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3705
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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grandmasattack's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

#2660481
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52539) - you deserved it (11376)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105349) - you deserved it (4665)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

#2496205
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56072) - you deserved it (6506)

On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

#2496205
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56072) - you deserved it (6506)

On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16503) - you deserved it (43976)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

#683803
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62295) - you deserved it (23163)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

#681464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63767) - you deserved it (12065)

On 03/29/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227053) - you deserved it (29233)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12906) - you deserved it (25599)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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