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Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17997) - you deserved it (3707)
On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was once again passed over for a promotion. I'm now the assistant to a kid who has failed to meet almost every single responsibility he's been given before. It's my job to make sure he's successful, and if he isn't, I'll lose my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19085) - you deserved it (1220)
On 06/18/2012 at 3:49pm - misc - by wenchfucker (man) - France (Lorraine)
Today, I had my blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing, I got woozy, started blacking out, and hit my head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with my pants down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16595) - you deserved it (1261)
On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - health - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27527) - you deserved it (1810)
On 12/31/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by yourebeautiful - United States
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (24175)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (24175)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States
Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (1518)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:09pm - love - by TheBeastSwaq - United States (California)
Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (1518)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:09pm - love - by TheBeastSwaq - United States (California)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43614) - you deserved it (7675)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (4512)
On 12/31/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (4906)
On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17795) - you deserved it (5137)
On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17932) - you deserved it (1938)
On 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm - love - by ktinanic - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15947) - you deserved it (2485)
On 12/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by 3peeps - United States
Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18268) - you deserved it (4351)
On 12/30/2011 at 2:10am - money - by WTF - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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