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gqsammie

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gqsammie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 May 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 69
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About gqsammie : Hello. The name's Sam. I like food, running, and singing. :)

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gqsammie's favorite FMLs

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58625) - you deserved it (10825)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49602) - you deserved it (7019)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (41621)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40708) - you deserved it (18008)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

#20627190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51295) - you deserved it (10570)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56690) - you deserved it (12712)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

#20611911
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39926) - you deserved it (13918)

On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47163) - you deserved it (9134)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41245) - you deserved it (3824)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40682) - you deserved it (3860)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38560) - you deserved it (4398)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)



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