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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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gowzer90

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gowzer90
  • Town/Country : Glasgow, Scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 September 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1424
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About gowzer90 : dont b nosy
fuck off

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gowzer90's favorite FMLs

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (11688) - you deserved it (31165)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I decided I need help, so I confessed to my mother that I'm bulimic. After she looked it up online she started screaming at me for "Wasting food that I'm not paying for." FML

#4663591 (377)

I agree, your life sucks (38914) - you deserved it (7291)

On 08/19/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Rainbow92 (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

#4609824 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (8368) - you deserved it (53069)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused caling me Jill & her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (98213) - you deserved it (5700)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699 (371)

I agree, your life sucks (90335) - you deserved it (4758)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (69767) - you deserved it (14572)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (14135) - you deserved it (55674)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (51284) - you deserved it (9561)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (13237)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

#2110386 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (34955) - you deserved it (9659)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (55234) - you deserved it (2525)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

#1746299 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (43523) - you deserved it (3761)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by Wally (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

#1296374 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (50199) - you deserved it (2064)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm - health - by whatthehell (woman) - United States (New York)