Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gonzolove

Search for a member

gonzolove

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 April 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2926
  • Number of comments : 303
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About gonzolove : I made this account so I could reply to other people's nonsensical ramblings.
Also, I like to argue. And play devil's advocate.
And I own a lot of guns.
I also think that it's creepy that FML knows which day of the week I was born on.
About me? Well I'm into biology. I am going to school to pursue a career in microbial genetics. I drink beer. I don't take myself that seriously. I love music and dancing. I also try my hand at photography (black and white and I attempt to develop my own photographs).
Want more? Probably not. But if you do, message me. I will eventually get back to you (usually it will be pretty quick).

gonzolove's page activity

Visits<b>luckyme143</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 3:04pm<b>emilycardona7</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 3:30pm<b>srudez</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:49am<b>PrinceOfBritain</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Ahsome</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:05pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:46am<b>tasiabrown94</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:33am<b>tigerRaWr84</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:27pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:26pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:33am<b>Mipam</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:22pm<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:31am<b>11bGrunT</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:18pm<b>SBD_Dauntless</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:04pm<b>Jclan_91419</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:30am<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:50pm

gonzolove's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gonzolove's favorite FMLs

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

#5315969
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38784) - you deserved it (9417)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9078) - you deserved it (103892)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

#5162946
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37125) - you deserved it (7386)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom found a new favorite game. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year and still have not been able to find a job (months after graduating college). Due to this stress I cry easily, her game? Seeing how many times a day she can make me boo-hoo. FML

#5153713
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31759) - you deserved it (8018)

On 09/09/2009 at 6:53pm - misc - by sadchick (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54638) - you deserved it (4976)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38736) - you deserved it (4408)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177163) - you deserved it (18078)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54669) - you deserved it (2930)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

#5102101
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52268) - you deserved it (7896)

On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45042) - you deserved it (3502)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML

#5066785
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38596) - you deserved it (8047)

On 09/05/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

#5040554
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (1892)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by 1ndustrytx (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

#4972941
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36999) - you deserved it (4783)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44am - work - by spinner (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

#4970470
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (14598)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85746) - you deserved it (5123)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: