About golferman72 : I read FML every day when I am bored
golferman72's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
golferman72's favorite FMLs
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
by mfischer / 11/16/2012 at 4:40am / United States / Miscellaneous
by SweetStuff88 / 11/15/2012 at 8:37am / United States / Love
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
by talker / 11/14/2012 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 8:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by 99Problemsandfml / 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
by Shauna / 11/08/2012 at 6:09am / United States / Kids
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
by ohcrap / 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by xXfloatingshitlogXx / 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
by Midnightpearls / 11/02/2012 at 11:39am / United States / Health
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
by okay._. / 11/01/2012 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML
by kat / 10/31/2012 at 7:30am / United States (Florida) / Work
- Today, while changing my 10 week old baby's nappy and everything was going fine as usual. Just as I… Today, I had a sex dream. I woke up, sleepily got myself off and fell right asleep. it wasn't until… Today, I realised I had made a major typo on one of my price lists for my new business. I've been…