About golferman72 : I read FML every day when I am bored
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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golferman72's favorite FMLs
by ihncredible / 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML
by sonofahypocriticalwhore / 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2012 at 10:30am / United States / Animals
by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work
by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work
by reedcarter / 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm / Miscellaneous
by poopsthegame / 12/03/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Hawaii) / Transportation
by julia / 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Awks / 11/30/2012 at 1:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
by Widowmaker / 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
by AHole / 11/21/2012 at 9:03am / United States (North Dakota) / Transportation
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
by Dead_Fox / 11/21/2012 at 12:48am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2012 at 7:30pm / Croatia (Primorsko-Goranska) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…