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golferman72

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golferman72
  • Town/Country : Houston, Texas
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1607
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About golferman72 : I read FML every day when I am bored. I'm 6'3" and pretty good at golf. Feel free to message me...

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golferman72's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77005) - you deserved it (3480)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90653) - you deserved it (19052)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90653) - you deserved it (19052)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

#2713255
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84434) - you deserved it (5027)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

#2686671
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13031) - you deserved it (81952)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109939) - you deserved it (5002)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75164) - you deserved it (4455)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

#1893907
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79617) - you deserved it (4279)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

#1719560
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105575) - you deserved it (4868)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

#1687586
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12293) - you deserved it (53671)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

#1479703
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77186) - you deserved it (3767)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

#1479634
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42054) - you deserved it (8843)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76272) - you deserved it (5017)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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