golferman72

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Offline (the 11/07/2015 at 7:47am)

golferman72

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8070
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About golferman72 : I read FML every day when I am bored

golferman72's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 8:17am<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 11:52pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 1:39am<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:45pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 7:01pm<b>GirlGamer12345</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:07pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 3:55am<b>toastbrot</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 2:50am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:51am<b>konan__</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:49am<b>breckinwayne</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:38am<b>lebanesebarbie</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:42pm<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 4:09am<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:44pm<b>em_kidds</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:03pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51pm<b>stephanieeee95</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:40am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:56pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 3:54am<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:16pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Miranda_F</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 3:55am

golferman72's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of golferman72's badges

golferman72's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2013 at 6:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

by SlothyMolly / 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm / United States / Work

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

by dangerZone / 02/27/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

by bettercallpeta / 02/15/2013 at 12:42am / United States / Animals