About golferman72 : I read FML every day when I am bored
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golferman72's favorite FMLs
by Emily / 08/01/2012 at 1:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy
by anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML
by em from Cali / 07/28/2012 at 4:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by love_to_live / 07/28/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
by Jessi / 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML
by Joey / 07/24/2012 at 1:04am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by Rose / 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by My_Name_Is_Zach / 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm / Miscellaneous
by Closingwild / 07/21/2012 at 2:18am / Mexico (Jalisco) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
by great / 07/20/2012 at 6:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health
by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our… Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing… Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating…