About golferman72 : I read FML every day when I am bored
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golferman72's favorite FMLs
by MIND BLOWING / 10/20/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by puppylove / 10/20/2012 at 3:16am / United States / Animals
Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by not as scarred as he should be / 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Mike / 10/16/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
by Patrick / 10/14/2012 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML
by caltech / 10/10/2012 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML
by AFEmoWifey / 10/09/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids
- Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she… Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half… Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with…
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.…