golferman72

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Offline (the 11/07/2015 at 7:47am)

golferman72

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8729
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About golferman72 : I read FML every day when I am bored

golferman72's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 8:17am<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 11:52pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 1:39am<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:45pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 7:01pm<b>GirlGamer12345</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:07pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 3:55am<b>toastbrot</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 2:50am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:51am<b>konan__</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:49am<b>breckinwayne</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:38am<b>lebanesebarbie</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:42pm<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 4:09am<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:44pm<b>em_kidds</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:03pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51pm<b>stephanieeee95</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:40am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:56pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 3:54am<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:16pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Miranda_F</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 3:55am

golferman72's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of golferman72's badges

golferman72's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

by gibbette / 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Love

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

by phonesmuggler / 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

by Gurior / 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

by poopy pants / 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

by paulinapo / 03/28/2013 at 9:52am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

by Beestings / 03/24/2013 at 1:14am / United States / Love