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golfer_boi

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golfer_boi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 November 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3067
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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golfer_boi's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

#17440698
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29927) - you deserved it (3931)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (89864)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

#16954245
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41235) - you deserved it (3517)

On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

#16882996
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46554) - you deserved it (3022)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Drunken Sailor - United States (New York)

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

#16851241
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32569) - you deserved it (3419)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by muddygal (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

#16758820
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26884) - you deserved it (13538)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:12am - love - by blondetergent (man) - Singapore

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

#16622108
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54578) - you deserved it (3017)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60589) - you deserved it (10416)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

#16251176
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9806) - you deserved it (72461)

On 05/19/2011 at 11:13am - work - by Username -

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13428) - you deserved it (57060)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my mom paid $40 for overnight shipping on delivery of paint for my Art major dropout sister, but insists on making me wait two weeks for my diabetes medication. FML

#15982407
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44622) - you deserved it (2792)

On 04/29/2011 at 9:00pm - health - by thanksmom - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

#15833093
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58571) - you deserved it (4401)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:09am - work - by davka -

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33516) - you deserved it (24734)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55249) - you deserved it (27701)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70689) - you deserved it (15335)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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