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golfer_boi

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golfer_boi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 November 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2844
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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golfer_boi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21574) - you deserved it (9651)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

#18860090
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33570) - you deserved it (4443)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Emily27 (woman) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36274) - you deserved it (3982)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35241) - you deserved it (3067)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML

#18833133
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (6799)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65284) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43726) - you deserved it (3173)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

#18608467
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (2461)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

#18531545
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (5346)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm - love - by agony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (2383)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48504) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

#18346239
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (2132)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44676) - you deserved it (3469)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML

#18289031
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33789) - you deserved it (4612)

On 11/19/2011 at 12:50pm - misc - by John (man) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)



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