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golfer_boi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 November 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2600
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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golfer_boi's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34683) - you deserved it (4741)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

#20091576
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29892) - you deserved it (2274)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML

#20088451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23162) - you deserved it (2582)

On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24121) - you deserved it (2735)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24121) - you deserved it (2735)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16961) - you deserved it (1687)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

#20085093
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (1615)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (1898)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

#20083123
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22009) - you deserved it (1639)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by IHateMyLife - United States (California)

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24988) - you deserved it (2298)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

#20075771
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27629) - you deserved it (2123)

On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (1977)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML

#20065827
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18329) - you deserved it (1796)

On 09/10/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by NotJessePinkmanFFS (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39944) - you deserved it (2171)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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