golfer_boi

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golfer_boi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5159
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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golfer_boi's page activity

Visits<b>coops456</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:21pm<b>Sharkthedark</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:34pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>bluestrawberry17</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:03am<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:25pm<b>Wayne71</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:47pm<b>hedgehog42</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 5:27pm<b>suicidalchick</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 12:01am<b>REFF</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 2:58am<b>FMLsOhilarious</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 3:29pm<b>meherm</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 8:45pm<b>soccerfan10</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 11:50am<b>Stealth05</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 5:56pm<b>JesusPiece</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 9:05am<b>taylav</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 12:26pm<b>wilwonks</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 8:29am<b>arleenxo</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 10:03pm<b>Alex5074</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 5:17pm

golfer_boi's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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golfer_boi's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Love

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

by birthday girl / 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm / Australia / Animals

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm / Philippines (Manila) / Kids

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

by Weasel123 / 10/26/2012 at 3:58am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

by familyofpsychos / 10/26/2012 at 12:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

by mental / 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm / United States / Love

Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

by bunintheoven / 10/23/2012 at 12:21am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

by bad samaritan / 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

by WTF / 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

by WTF / 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

by RIP / 10/07/2012 at 2:34pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Kids

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids