Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

goldenguitar

Search for a member

goldenguitar
  • Town/Country : Sweden
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 382
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

goldenguitar's last visitors

akosirmFreeze281go

goldenguitar's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

goldenguitar's favorite FMLs

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9214) - you deserved it (32907)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66127) - you deserved it (7628)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55365) - you deserved it (11850)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44703) - you deserved it (6833)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113060) - you deserved it (4873)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57048) - you deserved it (2326)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

#1529921
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53460) - you deserved it (15758)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (385012) - you deserved it (61673)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML

#506180
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55780) - you deserved it (15498)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by teriyaki124 - United States (California)

Today, in the fitting room at Old Navy, a customer asked me if we sold Calvin Klein jeans. I replied "no ma'am, this isn't a department store, we only sell Old Navy jeans." She left, and complained to my manager, who informed me that "the customer is always right." FML

#199047
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61110) - you deserved it (3109)

On 03/03/2009 at 7:18pm - work - by samantha (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55819) - you deserved it (12071)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was questioned about a request for a restraining order filed against me by an old woman. According to the report, she's seen me "walking near her house and waving at her" for the last two months. I've been her next-door neighbor for a year and a half. FML

#170541
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51380) - you deserved it (1631)

On 03/01/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Friendly (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (736682) - you deserved it (73989)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

#14737
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60621) - you deserved it (7577)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: