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gohomejes

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gohomejes
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1260
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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gohomejes's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40167) - you deserved it (8434)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

#3792630
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10728) - you deserved it (63102)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44222) - you deserved it (11187)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

#3531560
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5278) - you deserved it (70869)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

#3494864
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35002) - you deserved it (3630)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:53am - money - by iloveZELOS (woman) - United States

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

#3485353
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10579) - you deserved it (56005)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

#3442749
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11953) - you deserved it (91903)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66604) - you deserved it (11169)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43177) - you deserved it (10849)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

#3329727
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36398) - you deserved it (10411)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113825) - you deserved it (71775)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML

#2658962
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9952) - you deserved it (53168)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by Goki (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43844) - you deserved it (9770)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92889) - you deserved it (5729)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)



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