gohomejes

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gohomejes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1782
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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gohomejes's page activity

Visits<b>masschris</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:40am<b>helloirony</b> - the 09/24/2011 at 3:42pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:08pm<b>Casper_18</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 4:03am<b>ururu_sama</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 11:35pm<b>Armaros</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 7:17pm<b>hatehatehatehate</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 1:51pm<b>Eladar</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 2:57pm<b>greensharpie</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 7:48pm<b>broadwaygalrks</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 6:18pm<b>ohdangsonkendra</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 12:20pm<b>JerseyGuy2009</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 7:09pm<b>danielle523</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 9:01pm<b>not_ur_mexican</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 5:05pm<b>maree</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 9:00am<b>Seegtease</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 8:47pm<b>_apecakez</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 6:53pm<b>SmexxiHunny</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 6:36pm

gohomejes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gohomejes's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

by joe1234 / 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

by embarrassed / 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

by iloveZELOS / 07/05/2009 at 12:53am / United States / Money

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

by SwordFish8 / 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

by Uriah / 07/03/2009 at 12:20am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

by blazer / 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

by merkris / 06/29/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2009 at 1:07am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML

by Goki / 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

by KPKallery / 06/05/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

by Kimmiko / 06/04/2009 at 8:17am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Transportation