Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gohomejes

Search for a member

gohomejes

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1355
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

gohomejes's page activity

Visits<b>helloirony</b> - the 09/24/2011 at 3:42pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:08pm<b>Casper_18</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 4:03am<b>ururu_sama</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 11:35pm<b>Armaros</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 7:17pm<b>hatehatehatehate</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 1:51pm<b>Eladar</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 2:57pm<b>greensharpie</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 7:48pm<b>broadwaygalrks</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 6:18pm<b>ohdangsonkendra</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 12:20pm<b>JerseyGuy2009</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 7:09pm<b>danielle523</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 9:01pm<b>not_ur_mexican</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 5:05pm<b>maree</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 9:00am<b>Seegtease</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 8:47pm<b>_apecakez</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 6:53pm<b>SmexxiHunny</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 6:36pm<b>maddog</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 10:37am

gohomejes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gohomejes's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8695) - you deserved it (105696)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60636) - you deserved it (2464)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49941) - you deserved it (7232)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML

#4224204
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10149) - you deserved it (66734)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

#4199907
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38067) - you deserved it (5503)

On 08/01/2009 at 2:35am - kids - by jcesom (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

#4175407
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40228) - you deserved it (3333)

On 07/31/2009 at 12:01am - kids - by BadMurderer (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

#4158502
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52891) - you deserved it (3590)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38333) - you deserved it (3866)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53368) - you deserved it (3148)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

#4125421
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40441) - you deserved it (6186)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42775) - you deserved it (7284)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (59779)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35389) - you deserved it (94143)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

#3830576
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (87659)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: