Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gohomejes

Search for a member

gohomejes

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1396
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

gohomejes's page activity

Visits<b>helloirony</b> - the 09/24/2011 at 3:42pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:08pm<b>Casper_18</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 4:03am<b>ururu_sama</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 11:35pm<b>Armaros</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 7:17pm<b>hatehatehatehate</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 1:51pm<b>Eladar</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 2:57pm<b>greensharpie</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 7:48pm<b>broadwaygalrks</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 6:18pm<b>ohdangsonkendra</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 12:20pm<b>JerseyGuy2009</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 7:09pm<b>danielle523</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 9:01pm<b>not_ur_mexican</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 5:05pm<b>maree</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 9:00am<b>Seegtease</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 8:47pm<b>_apecakez</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 6:53pm<b>SmexxiHunny</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 6:36pm<b>maddog</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 10:37am

gohomejes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gohomejes's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8730) - you deserved it (105815)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60722) - you deserved it (2469)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50029) - you deserved it (7239)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML

#4224204
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10541) - you deserved it (67923)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

#4199907
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38146) - you deserved it (5506)

On 08/01/2009 at 2:35am - kids - by jcesom (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

#4175407
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41165) - you deserved it (3429)

On 07/31/2009 at 12:01am - kids - by BadMurderer (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

#4158502
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52968) - you deserved it (3599)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39003) - you deserved it (3941)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53476) - you deserved it (3153)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

#4125421
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40517) - you deserved it (6191)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43471) - you deserved it (7353)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (59847)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (94268)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

#3830576
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (87825)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: