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globalmeltdown's favorite FMLs
Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML
by Imafishyfishy / 03/27/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Thebestman123 / 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Baconcook3000 / 07/23/2011 at 7:00am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
by stargirl / 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 11:46am / Belgium (Liege) / Health
by Unknown / 07/07/2011 at 11:12am / United States (Missouri) / Holidays
Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML
by danielle887 / 07/07/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by MakeMyDay_27 / 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 12:17am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working… Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his… Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he…