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globalmeltdown

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  • Number of visits : 692
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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globalmeltdown's page activity

Visits<b>Yogibob</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 10:54am<b>PopeChunky</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 1:31pm

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globalmeltdown's favorite FMLs

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39935) - you deserved it (9434)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31481) - you deserved it (2225)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54155) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML

#17227486
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44988) - you deserved it (5604)

On 07/23/2011 at 7:00am - love - by Baconcook3000 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44298) - you deserved it (4681)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27453) - you deserved it (6083)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

#17167728
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33420) - you deserved it (11349)

On 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm - kids - by stargirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (2293) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46041) - you deserved it (24999)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML

#17009779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38028) - you deserved it (2951)

On 07/07/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by danielle887 - United States

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44116) - you deserved it (4148)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41674) - you deserved it (3747)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38244) - you deserved it (5121)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (16705)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -



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