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gjones020

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gjones020

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  • Number of visits : 1061
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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gjones020's favorite FMLs

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

#9094642
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (4496)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

#8807543
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (2257)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm - love - by WhiteLiar (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boss screamed at me for almost an hour because, apparently, I hurt my coworker's feelings when I stopped speaking to her after finding out that she was sleeping with my boyfriend. FML

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (2841)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

#5586348
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40480) - you deserved it (5186)

On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, an injured guest stopped at the front desk of the hotel and raved about my kindness and 'commitment to customer service'. He told my boss about how I'd gone to the ice machine and personally delivered a bag of ice for his injured knee. Guess who got written up for leaving the front desk? FML

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

#4912906
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42495) - you deserved it (3380)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62192) - you deserved it (9129)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML

#4228843
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53431) - you deserved it (2774)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by kashish0711 (man) - India (Chandigarh)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57755) - you deserved it (26172)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124578) - you deserved it (4586)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

#3472091
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52112) - you deserved it (9440)

On 07/04/2009 at 2:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

#3168313
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49124) - you deserved it (3436)

On 06/24/2009 at 6:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62033) - you deserved it (5800)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML

#1844293
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132240) - you deserved it (8610)

On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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