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gjones020

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gjones020

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  • Number of visits : 935
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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gjones020's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36000) - you deserved it (12772)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

#16025758
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33497) - you deserved it (9035)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by kimftwxox - United Kingdom

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44209) - you deserved it (3330)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44262) - you deserved it (4751)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44494) - you deserved it (5594)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49105) - you deserved it (5779)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39045) - you deserved it (3980)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (6767)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32640) - you deserved it (9479)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

#15805096
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40168) - you deserved it (11355) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

#15791793
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29926) - you deserved it (7136)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44380) - you deserved it (6712)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

#15748072
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (2933)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

#15630869
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40956) - you deserved it (4260)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:26am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I was in IKEA when my friends and I thought it would be fun to play hide and seek. We all hid; I was in a good hiding spot. Half an hour later, I was still there. I texted my friends to see where they were. They all left to see a movie, and forgot about me. FML

#15616654
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33446) - you deserved it (11789)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Nicole - United States



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