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gjones020

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gjones020

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  • Number of visits : 1046
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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gjones020's favorite FMLs

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31228) - you deserved it (4841)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

#16814483
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42605) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38879) - you deserved it (4298)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50287) - you deserved it (7814)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40241) - you deserved it (9644)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (51856)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44057) - you deserved it (3263)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML

#16452469
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (14176)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:44pm - misc - by Stiny (man) - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65314) - you deserved it (3607)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

#16432419
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40089) - you deserved it (8059)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:02am - love - by veggiepower11028 -

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

#16355568
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53157) - you deserved it (3374)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:24am - health - by fatteningmeup (woman) - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (6055)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13080) - you deserved it (63746)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37782) - you deserved it (10277)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44886) - you deserved it (7957)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -



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