Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gjones020

Search for a member

gjones020

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1054
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

gjones020's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

gjones020's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85318) - you deserved it (13084)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

#17725319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37733) - you deserved it (4758)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17784) - you deserved it (32148)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40279) - you deserved it (3244)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21725) - you deserved it (66236)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (9016)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36107) - you deserved it (7575)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41018) - you deserved it (6286)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39028) - you deserved it (3103)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

#17000243
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41029) - you deserved it (4147)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by THOMASisMYname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41406) - you deserved it (3327)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML

#16934037
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47340) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/01/2011 at 9:05am - animals - by Username - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

#16933111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41583) - you deserved it (4125)

On 07/01/2011 at 5:12am - love - by single (man) - China (Guangdong)

Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML

#16932864
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32264) - you deserved it (2137)

On 07/01/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by Rick - United States (California)

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

#16895867
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39766) - you deserved it (2683)

On 06/28/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by adopteddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: