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gjones020

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gjones020

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  • Number of visits : 922
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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gjones020's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51297) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML

#18469057
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27986) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (5297)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

#18262782
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25956) - you deserved it (4076)

On 11/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by jdancerchick - United States

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15032) - you deserved it (52524)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30474) - you deserved it (2574)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my car broke down in the middle of the street. Lucky for me, two guys helped me push my car to the side of the road. Right when I was about to thank them, they stole my purse. FML

#18020757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28250) - you deserved it (2482)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by mommydearist - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11725) - you deserved it (48068)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

#17876001
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (2363)

On 10/01/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Sickofbeingsick (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25606) - you deserved it (6084)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46392) - you deserved it (3578)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39748) - you deserved it (3195)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16723) - you deserved it (46933)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

#17749628
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (1737)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:36am - work - by Tancred (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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